A reflection on looking back, living in the present and moving forward with faith

By Dr Ancil Adrian-Paul

Life does not always unfold the way we expect. We make plans, set goals and imagine how the years ahead will look. Then something changes. A door closes, a relationship ends, a new opportunity appears or we find ourselves in a place we never expected to be.

When I look back over my own life, I can see many different seasons. Some were joyful and exciting. Others were painful, confusing and difficult. There were times when I did not understand what was happening or why. Yet, with the benefit of time, I can see that the Lord was with me through them all.

That is one of the greatest lessons I have learnt: we do not always recognise God’s hand while we are walking through a situation. Sometimes we only see it clearly when we look back.

Life Rarely Follows a Straight Road

There is comfort in believing that everything will work out exactly as we planned. However, life is rarely so simple. We can experience disappointment, loss, grief, change and unexpected beginnings. We may have to start again when we thought we were already settled.

I have learnt that a changed plan does not mean that our lives have lost their purpose. Sometimes the road we would never have chosen becomes the road on which we learn the most. It can teach us patience, courage, wisdom and compassion.

In difficult moments, it is natural to ask, ‘Lord, where are You?’ I have asked that question myself. Looking back, I now realise that His presence is often shown through small things: a person who helped at the right time, a door that opened, a warning I did not fully understand or strength that came when I felt I had none left.

God Can Use Difficult Seasons

Pain is not pleasant, and I would never pretend that every difficult experience is easy to explain. Some things leave deep marks on us. Some take years to understand. Forgiveness can also take time.

But I have discovered that God can bring wisdom from the events that once brought tears. He can use our experiences to help us understand and help other people. He can soften our hearts, teach us to pray differently and help us make wiser decisions in the future.

This does not mean we have to call every painful event good. It means we can trust that pain does not have to be the last chapter. With God, there can still be healing, growth and a new beginning.

Gratitude Changes the Way We Look Back

One practice that has helped me is gratitude. When I think only about what went wrong, the past can feel very heavy. When I also remember where I was protected, helped, taught and strengthened, the picture looks different, and I give thanks.

I am grateful for the people God has placed in my life. I am grateful for the countries I have seen, the work I have been able to do and the lessons I have learnt. I am grateful for the times I was kept safe without fully understanding the danger around me. I am also grateful that God has continued to draw me back to Him whenever I became distracted or discouraged.

Gratitude does not erase sorrow. It simply reminds us that sorrow is not the whole story.

Faith Does Not Mean Having Every Answer

For many years, I thought faith meant that I should understand what God was doing. I now believe faith means trusting Him when I do not understand and maintaining hope.

We all have questions. We may wonder why one door opens and another closes, why a prayer seems to be answered quickly while another takes years, or why certain people come into our lives only for a short season.

I do not have an answer for everything. What I do have is a growing confidence that God is faithful. I have seen enough of His mercy and protection to know that I can continue to place my future in His hands. I have tasted and know that He is good.

Reaching for the Future with Jesus

The past can teach us, but we are not meant to live there. We can revisit it, learn from it and make peace with what we can. Then we must continue living in the present while reaching for the future.

For me, that future is with Jesus. I am still learning. I am still growing. I still make mistakes. But I know that my life has purpose, and I want whatever years are ahead of me to bring glory and honour to God.

If you are in a season that feels uncertain, do not lose hope. Keep praying. Keep asking for wisdom. Pay attention to the people and opportunities God places around you. Give yourself time to heal where healing is needed. Most of all, remember that you may understand this season differently when you look back on it one day.

The same God who was present yesterday is present today, and He will still be there tomorrow.

A Simple Prayer

Abba Father, thank You for bringing me this far. Thank You for the times I recognised Your hand and for the times You protected and guided me without my knowing. Give me wisdom for the present, healing for the painful parts of the past and faith for the future. Help me to trust You when I do not understand the road ahead. May my life bring glory and honour to You, through Jesus Christ. Amen.

About the Author

Dr Ancil Adrian-Paul is the author of Acknowledging the Hand of God on My Life: Revisiting the Past, Embracing the Present and Reaching for the Future with Jesus. Her story highlights her faith and gives snapshots of her family, education, humanitarian work, travel, hardship and the many ways she believes God has guided and protected her throughout her life. In this book, she revisits the past, embraces the present, and reaches towards the future with Jesus.

Best wishes
Ancil